Killing the mood in a relationship help Everyday life and customs

wazzo97
wazzo97
Expert

Hi, i have a huge problem, a few years ago i had an amazing friendship(more than that), that friendship make her the most important person in my life, but after like 4-5 years i got backstabbed...since then i'm not anymore able to have a great relationship(love or just friendship), the first weeks seems to be great we both have a great time and fun, but after that something happen and all drop down...
10 days ago i found an amazing person, i thought that she was finally the person i needed to get out of that situation, we were the same, same interests, compatible characters and we comprehend each other, but once again happened the same thing, first days were absolutely great, after that something as always, i started feeling as trash and i became dick because of that, but i'm sure that is all my fault, i know that she is amazing, but i can't do anything, i feel so sorry for her because she did nothing wrong for sure...
Because of that my mood dropped again and i somatize it, so i feel sick as well, i feel like i just want to cry, because she is important to me and don't want to lose her, but at the same time i don't want to bother her
Help me please...

PolDani
PolDani
Casual

I hop tat is the girl u defended AHAHHAAHAHAH

LeoThExplorer
LeoThExplorer
Casual

Just talk to her about your situation and speak the truth man, it's a strategy that pays back in most cases.

Suvro67
Suvro67
Expert

Some people who gets quite attached and is not able to find closure in a relationship, needs grieving period to get over someone. Probably you need some time to process your emotions and be alone for a certain period before meeting someone new. If you want to continue your current relationship then tell your partner about the situation and that you might need some space and if she agrees to the same.

wazzo97
wazzo97
Expert

Just talk to her about your situation and speak the truth man, it's a strategy that pays back in most cases.
I already tried, maybe i did it in a wrong way(i really like to write very long messages...) And she did,t understand what i meant or maybe it was already too late, maybe i had already annoyed her at that time...
Some people who gets quite attached and is not able to find closure in a relationship, needs grieving period to get over someone. Probably you need some time to process your emotions and be alone for a certain period before meeting someone new. If you want to continue your current relationship then tell your partner about the situation and that you might need some space and if she agrees to the same.
You got wrong many things...
1)we are not partner, just simple friends.
2)Time is not what i need, i had that "breakdown" like 3-4 years ago, but after that i closed myself to everyone, but in her i could see something, i saw someone that is like me, someone that i've never found before in my life so i tried to open myself for the first time in ages, but still with the old fear...i became dick because of that and i think that now she has no intention to be "someone" for me.
I'll gather my thoughts, i'll see if she will write me(don't think so, yesterday i replied her in a brutal way and i don't think she will forgive me, but i was too flustered, i can't stand to have this awful mood, i have headache, stomach ache, i can't sleep, i don't eat...) It she won't write me i'll try one last time to tell her how sorry i am and why i'm so stupid, if everything goes wrong again i don't know what i 'll do

nicodominic
nicodominic
Expert

You have PTSD, the simple solution is, tell her you like them, tell them that you have bad flashbacks to previous relationships and you can't control how they effect you. If they don't understand then they aren't worth it.
I personally have been in a similar situation and I gave up and decided to focus on my life, my dreams and my goals and forget about people, friendships and relationships. And honestly I am so much more happier now then I ever was before. But that's just me and you are you.